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jackabyss

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(no subject) [Oct. 29th, 2006|12:15 am]
jackabyss
[Current Mood |guiltyguilty]

Artist: Blink-182 Lyrics
Song: Miss You Lyrics

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare,
The shadow in the background of the morgue,
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight


Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)


Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)


(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

hmm that about sums it up. Have u ever felt like ur losing something u need, something u love? i love this girl like crazy, but i feel so guilty for making her wait, and not actually being there for her. That's what hurts the most. And i can't even blame myself. All i got to get mad at is time. pshh coming home is not coming soon enough. All i got is dreams to live on and some oh so nice but so evilly good pics of my girl. got to tough it out for a few more weeks and then i'm HOME. just hope i can make her happy as happy as she makes me. ;)
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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2006|11:03 pm]
jackabyss
head hurts so bad i can't explain in words. Keep seeing images and numbers lots of numbers i know i know them i just got nothing. hurts to know them, hurts to not. remember the timer and shouting and my friend but nothing else. something went down i know it remember peices but not sure if i really want to know it all. friends are all hurt badly. coop's sleeping, and mike's being checked out. I'm stuck in this vortex in my head just everything is swirling, it's to get worse before better and i'm hoping not much more. Need to see my friends, talk to my baby, and my cousin. To stop me from going nuts...
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(no subject) [Sep. 14th, 2006|10:53 pm]
jackabyss
at coop's for a quick break... completely and totally drained 3 more hours and then sleeep. Miss my baby, hope she's having fun. So tired not sure i can make it through more meetings. Still got to make a decision... hardest one i'll probably make..sucks ass. i don't care anymore.. just wanna sleep and think about it in the morning. To make matters worse my knee is killing me...oh well, whatever happens tomoorow i hope it goes well. I did all i could do at this point... up to others now freaking bastards.
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(no subject) [Sep. 13th, 2006|10:18 pm]
jackabyss
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]

Week's been so hard. Hard to update. Only good thing to come out of it so far is my new buddy Christopher. Yeah we're tight. He's going to be one cool kid. Spoiled as hell too. Pretty sure the whole base showed up to see him. He's like the modern day jesus here. Unfortunately from there on the week sucked and is continuing to suck even more. Sarah and Chris are going home soon, so there goes the partying and then work, we have to move out soon,just waiting for mike. He's not doing to well and to make matters worse boss basically asked coop and I to make the final call if he comes or goes. Not sure what the hell to do I'm really stuck between a rock and hard place and i think that either way the decision is going to suck. i give up..just wanna sleep, talk to my baby and go back to the simplier days
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(no subject) [Sep. 2nd, 2006|04:07 pm]
jackabyss
ahh 36 reports done 18 and 2 meetings left.phew.I have no idea how mike does this everyyyday coop and I are losing whatever sanity we have left. No wonder he's nuts. I'm trying not to lose faith but these papers are building up like no tomorrow i swear i finish one,three more are added to my never ending pile from hell. Mike's still enjoying his vacation, in fact so much he still doesn't know us. Connell won't let anyone near by again, going mad with his tests, and just plain mad. Coop managed to slip in quick but mike still didn't reconize him, still not sure whether to laugh so i'm doing my concerned look instead. Eh poor mike really sucks he looks like death warmed over and he still can't sleep due to connell but that's not stopping our courageous leader, no. Not matter what he's told no matter the fact he's hurting really bad and not really himself, no matter the fact he doesn't really know what the hell is still going on, mike will be mike. He's already a sleep for like the umpteen time. Doc should serious let him be i mean there's no stopping the man he's a genius. He keeps wanting to talk to sarah we had to take the computer away. Even worse sarah's at it not at me of course, coop and i are being our perfect angel self's as mike sure knows us. the woman is pissed and i don't blame her but she needs to calm down or someone's going to get hurt and tony doesn't need that. mike needs to come baack. I never realized how much work he really does and how he still can do everything he wants. *jealous* of that part not the work. Nope alll these lovely reports are going to the big man himself hopefully i did them right. on a somewhat weirder note i'm still stuck in mike's room i returned to mine to discover sarah had redecorate it a little keep in mind she's was there for one night. So i'm stuck using mike's again.man's got some cool shit in there. many nice medals he forgot to mention. I won't lie to u i saw these things and liked them so much i wanted one til i saw y he got them. I'll just have to steal one of his. maybe...;)
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(no subject) [Sep. 1st, 2006|05:20 pm]
jackabyss
[Current Mood |worriedworried]

stressing a little got so much work to do. Mike's still not awake and i can honestly say i'm getting scared now. He'll wake up i know it. Freaking out more that connell's actually sitting and waiting too. Ehh couple more hours and then mike will be at it. Can't wait to tell him about sarah and I...lmao. Nah i dont' care if he knows i'm in the room or not just as long as he wakes up and his vitals get stronger. All i care about, i can't lose someone again, not now. But i'm being a little selfish, can't imagine how sarah's handling it she's been really good about it everyone is but i feel more sorry for her than tony. Just an hour or so left now all i need is a wave or something, i'm good. Freaking pissed i have to work at 7:00 til god knows when , but boss said i can still check in and boy will i be. Seriously not trusting tony in that corner and i don't want to leave sarah alone. just gotta keep praying..
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(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2006|08:28 pm]
jackabyss
hmmm wow havent' written in this thing in awhile. Been to busy trying not to get hurt again on the job. i failed miseriably already, da knee decided to give out, really doesn't like me, no more sliding least for awhile. :( couple more hours and once again traveling. Becoming a world traveller . This one won't be to bad i know it. Just sucks going to be away from home for a while. a week ur saying that's a long time to me? yes yes it is time literally stands still when we're gone and i swear it feels like months when we're out there.worst part is no contact with anybody gonna miss u baby tons!:( ehh everything will go well then i will have no complaints.
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2006|01:38 am]
jackabyss
no sleep to nite i know. too many thoughts and mike lol. so tired, but i got some part of tomorrow to sleep thro maybe just one more medical class and then i'll pay attention, can't guarentee i can stay awake for that class anyway. Once again karma has return. And i'm not sure how to deal with it. Everytime i think things are starting to look up i get crushed once again. Kinda scared i don't like things that i can't control, not even that, the fact that life is not fair at all.
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(no subject) [Jul. 27th, 2006|04:12 pm]
jackabyss
[Current Mood |blahblah]

phew... quick break. Been so busy last few days time seems to be flying by. Coop's getting ready to leave tomorrow morning, little upset about that hope he stays safe no need to lose someone else. Sitting here breathing for like the first time all day its nice to relax almost forget how to do it. Missing my baby terribly.talk to her tonight hopefully, seems like foreva (lol) Training is going by, tiring but fun definetly more fun with mike i really should not tease him that much but i don't kno what else to do he's still mike just not all there. Got greene to train with in an hour or so, replacing mike. I can't beleive he blew up. But i totally understand. I just hope the general will once again. i don't know what or how i would feel in that sitution. lucky still coop is here maybe he can bring mike back idk. going to be a long day, least i have tonight to look forward to and some sleep hopefully. can't say the same about mike...
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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2006|10:40 pm]
jackabyss
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]

feeling beyond lonely. So much as happen in the last few weeks its finally hitting. I need her here, now. Want to hold her and kiss her so bad, let her know I'm there for her. But i'm too far away, stuck in this timebomb. I need to clear my head. Go out and get some fresh air. Hate being stuck in here, feel so caged up. Not even tired anymore, more restless tho from fever or from thinking i'm not sure which. Need to clear my head... and finally say goodbye to him. Thinking about it, all of it and can't stop. Need to get out.
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